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About Bitten

Bitten is a bit of my own college experiences mixed in with a story about an unfortunate girl named Selene that happens to be a young werewolf.

New chapters are every Monday, sometimes I'll post a short chapter on Thursdays as a bonus.

After a few weeks, I will submit Bitten to review sites, and I will start to offer commenting incentives as well.

Please comment and let me know what you think of the story!

Bitten is best viewed in Firefox or Internet Explorer (for some reason).

Table of Contents (Dated Links are Tentative Titles for Upcoming Chapters)

  • 1. Goodbyes
  • 2. Staking a Claim
  • 3. Lilith
  • 4. Noted
  • 5. Monster
  • 6. Quinn
  • 7. Too Nice
  • 8. Wake Up Call
  • 9. Tour
  • 10. Allergies
  • 11. Accidents Happen
  • 12. Sharing
  • 13. Use Your Nose
  • 14. Scared
  • 15. Rules are Rules
  • 16. Proposition
  • 17. The Change
  • 18. Explanations
  • 19. Compromise
  • 20. Lilith's Plan
  • 21. Training
  • 22. Acceptance
  • 23. The Lilith Method
  • 24. Solved
  • 25. A History Lesson
  • 26. Stargazing
  • 27. A New Look
  • 28. Payment
  • 29. Demonstration
  • 30. Contentment
  • 31. Bound
  • 32. Avoidance
  • 33. Hunger
  • 34. Donor
  • 35. New Girl
  • 36. Whispers
  • 37. Lucille
  • 38. Lies
  • 39. Used
  • 40. Eavesdropping
  • 41. Caught
  • 42. Invitation
  • 43. Party
  • 44. Greg
  • 45. Surprise
  • 46. Doyle
  • 47. Thanksgiving
  • 48. Semester's End
  • 49. Challenge
  • 50. To the Death
  • 51. Revenge
  • 52. Awake
  • Six Years Later

Status Updates and what's going on in my Life!

  • Insight into my Life
    New Blog for Personal Whatnots (Follow me through NaNo 2009!)
    Dear anyone that may be reading this: I am sorry that I kind of quit blogging for a while. Mostly, I was busy goofing off and I really didn't have a struct...
    1 month ago

If you like Bitten, check out my other story, Becoming.

  • Becoming
    New Blog for Personal Whatnots (Follow me through NaNo 2009!)
    Wow, I can't believe it's almost been a year since I last updated Becoming. I'm sure you're all pretty mad at me. I feel like Becoming kind of changed from...
    1 month ago

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  • The Hitchhiker

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49. Challenge

Saturday, December 19th
Waxing Gibbous Moon (Three Nights to Full Moon)

Something serious happening. We never had meetings like this. It wasn’t the full moon yet, but everyone was called out to the clearing for something big. Something that couldn’t wait.

“Lucille called dad and said she had something important to announce. She said he needed to get the whole pack together, so here we are,” Randall answered when I asked him what was going on.

As darkness fell, the cold December winds blew through the crowd, carrying Lilith’s scent, as well as the scents of Kate and Doyle. I hugged myself as the biting wind cut through my jacket. A month ago, it hadn’t been nearly this cold. The Texas weather had changed drastically during that short time. In a few nights we would be running in this, but our fur would work much better to block the wind than the pitiful jacket I had on.

Quinn and Sylvea, as well as Randall, the Elders, and I all stood up on the stage, all waiting. Everyone seemed confused and it made me feel a little better. We were all in the dark when it came to this matter.

When Lilith arrived, she was dragging Doyle. He looked unconscious. Kate was bringing up the rear, her face red and puffy, as if she had been crying.

Lilith dragged Doyle up the stairs, the ragged man looking even worse for the wear. She deposited him on the stage in front of Quinn and Sylvea and turned to address the crowd, “You all are probably wondering why you’re here tonight in the cold.”

I heard murmurs from the crowd, people agreeing with her, hoping they could get some answers soon. It was probably warmer down there, though, all those bodies close together. Up on the stage, it was lonely and miserable.

“I bring to you tonight, our newest pack member. He has brought shame upon us, he has committed a horrible sin.”

Gasps came from the crowd, Quinn looked at her inquisitively, urging her to go on.

“When he was first brought into the Pack, I had a feeling about him. A bad feeling. I enlisted fellow member of the Pack, Kate, to help me follow him, to help me watch him. And my suspicions were confirmed. Your fellow pack member, Doyle, is a pedophile.”

“What?” Quinn asked as I heard other voices mirror his question.

Kate nodded to confirm it as fresh tears rolled down her face.

“We saw him staring at kids with this strange, predatory look in his eyes, but it was nothing we could prove until tonight. We were following him and he decided to get brave. With his new werewolf strength and agility, he broke into a home tonight, stole away a young child, and attempted to rape her. Of course, we stopped him before he could commit the act and returned her to her home unharmed physically, but the poor girl is only seven years old. She’ll probably be traumatized for a long time, if not the rest of her life.”

As she spoke, whispers spread across the Pack. People began shouting, yelling at the unconscious man on the stage. The crowd began to boil with energy and hatred. All the emotions, all the rage, if not contained, would cause them to change. After that, they would probably attack Doyle. He began to stir up on the stage, slowly waking up.

“Stop,” Quinn addressed the crowd. “We need to work this out rationally. Do not jump to any conclusions until we question him.”

“You’re going to take his word over a lifetime pack member and an Alpha?” One of the Elders asked.

“I want to question him,” Quinn said again. He kneeled down and helped Doyle to slowly sit up. Doyle looked at him with wide eyes, shame crossing his expression.

“Is it true that you attempted to rape a young child tonight?” Quinn asked him.

Doyle looked up at Lilith and then down at the crowd before back to Quinn, “Y-yes, I did, I feel terrible about it, but it’s like something inside me, some animal part of me smelled her, felt her inside that house, and I couldn’t stop it. I couldn’t stop the animal from taking her. It just felt so good to let it happen, it was like I was watching and feeling, but not controlling, not really. Something else was controlling.” He looked down as tears ran down his face.

I heard sounds of disgust from the crowd. “He admitted it with his own words,” Lilith said.

“He also admitted that the wolf was in control, not him,” Quinn said through gritted teeth as he looked up at her. “Why did you have to call everyone here for this? Why couldn’t you just bring him to me so we could deal with him without prejudice from the Pack.”

Lilith turned her back on the crowd of pack members to face Quinn. “Because I want him to be punished. If I just brought him to you, you would be lenient on him. With the whole Pack here, you have to take action.” Cheers and shouts of agreement came from behind her, people yelling out different ways to discipline him, some much worse than others.

“I’m not going to punish him. He needs to be rehabilitated. He needs to be able to control the animal side of himself. If he can control it, then it won’t happen again.”

“Doyle, did you have fantasies about little girls before you were a werewolf?” Lilith asked him.

He looked away and nodded slowly, working the crowd up even more.

“I imagine the new wolf part of him only made the problem worse, but the fact of the matter is, he was like this before he was one of us. I think it was only a matter of time, and I think he needs a suitable punishment. He doesn’t deserve to be a part of the Pack. I don’t even think scum like this deserves to live.” As she spoke, she turned to address the rest of the Pack instead of Quinn. It seemed like most of the wolves were in agreement with Lilith.

“Are you questioning the Pack Leader’s judgment?” Quinn asked, standing up straight, almost a head taller than Lilith.

She glanced sideways at him, not even bothering to turn to look into his eyes as she spoke. Instead, she spoke to the people. “I am, because I believe that the Leader of this Pack is too weak to manage the members in it.”

Randall and Sylvea both growled at her. “Do you realize what she is implicating?” Randall asked me.

Confused, I replied, “That Quinn doesn’t punish anyone?” I kind of liked that. If Quinn had been harsher, I would probably be out on the streets for my mistakes.

“She’s implying that she would be a better leader than him. But she wouldn’t offer a formal challenge to him, there’s no way she could win…”

My blood ran cold as I processed his words. All I could do was stare at the two as they argued back and forth. This was how Lilith was going to take over. This was how she planned to fight Quinn for the Pack.

“We have to keep that from happening,” I said, grabbing his hand. My words seemed far away as I tried to think of what to do.

“Why? If she has a death wish, it’s fine with me. You didn’t like her anyway.”

“I’m not worried about her. We can’t let her fight Quinn. It’ll be a disaster!”

Before I could make a move, Quinn’s words rang out over the crowd. “What is the meaning of this?” Lilith was stripping off her clothes.

“I mean to challenge you for the Pack. I challenge you to a fight to the death for the right to lead.” The ghostly black fur began to creep along her skin. The crowd had gone silent, unsure. They wanted Doyle punished, but this was something completely different.

“He’s not allowed to decline,” Randall said to me as Kate and the Elders left the stage. Sylvea stood to the side as Quinn took off his shirt, his own black fur covering his muscled body. “He has to fight her if she issues a challenge. Otherwise, she automatically wins.”

“He can’t fight her, Randall. She’ll kill him.”

Randall led me off the stage to stand at the front of the crowd. “Even if she did get lucky enough to win, that’s part of being the Leader.”

I closed my eyes and tried to keep out the tears. I had to stay rational, I had to keep my emotions from taking over, and I had to figure something out. Was there no way I could stop it? Stop her?

-----

A/N: Late again, that's me. I spent a lot of time yesterday trying to apply for jobs. I really need to get a job soon so that I can start pulling my own weight...and we need a new bed as well as other furniture. I want to do some landscaping as well.

I think the main complaint about this chapter will be that it's kind of sudden. I probably didn't build up to this event enough, but it's time for it to happen. The next chapter is going to be the fight between Lilith and Quinn. I didn't like the ending either, but it was the best stopping point for the chapter. Also, in the rewrite, I'm going to change Lilith's fake name (Lucille) to something not quite so similar. It will probably help with any confusion.

There's only a few chapters left in the story. After I finish Bitten, I'm hoping that I can finish Becoming. Then I'll start working on my newest idea, a demon story I've been rolling around in my mind for a while. I'll also work on the rewrite/revisions of Bitten and try to get a finished version of it to sell on Lulu. Until then I will keep it up though, so tell your friends, get people to read and comment. Post suggestions. Say what you liked and didn't like. The more input, the better the finished product will be.

Posted by Arielle Fragassi    

2 comments:

daymon34 said...

It was a bit sudden, but we also knew that Lilith planned to take Quinn on at sometime.

That looks like it is going to be a nasty fight.

June 3, 2009 10:37 AM  
Coops said...

It is a jump from the previous chapter but it still flows well. Your rewrite will pick this up and smooth it out I'm sure. Make the last chapters memorable, different, unexpected, and you will achieve your goal.

June 8, 2009 5:49 AM  

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