33. Hunger

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Friday, October 9th
Waning Crescent Moon (Fifteen Nights to Full Moon)

Since I was avoiding Lilith as much as possible, we stopped doing our training. It didn’t bother me much. That meant she couldn’t do any more of her vampire tricks to me or use her or my power against me. I didn’t know what else she could have even taught me, even though I was sure she could probably dig up something. I didn’t want it. I was done with her.

No more training gave me an immense amount of time to actually have a social life, which made Randall happy. My grades improved and I could actually stay awake in classes.

I almost felt normal, aside from feeling Lilith wake up and go to sleep. It messed up my sleep schedule a bit. Whenever she got up, I felt like I had just downed a pot of coffee. When I was alone, I would go for a run before bed to work off that energy. When I was with someone, I would have to hold it in, constantly shaking my leg and hoping I could find a way to spend it later. In the mornings, I always had a hard time waking up. Daybreak was when she went to sleep, and my connection to her willed me to keep sleeping. Sometimes I barely even heard my alarm. I kept a stock of Red Bulls in the fridge and stopped for coffee at the campus Starbucks on particularly bad mornings.

I also turned my lie to Randall into truth and started spending time with River. She was a great friend and a plus to our relationship was that she lived in my dorm. She was a friendly and nice girl and always had me over to her suite. I’d told her that I didn’t get along with my roommates and she was sympathetic. It helped me to avoid Lilith without having to spend all my time at Randall’s house. Of course, I was always welcome at his place, but I didn’t want to spend so much time there that his family would start to tire of me.

River and I would work on homework together, since she was in many of my classes, and on nights where we didn’t have homework, we would watch random TV shows or I would bring a movie from the collection at my dorm for us to watch. Some nights we would go for fast food or she would cook us dinner. She was a good person to have as a friend, especially since I didn’t have many in the first place.

After the first week-and-a-half after the full moon, I noticed a change in River’s demeanor. She seemed to tire easily while we were walking around. She was pale and didn’t look well. The first day I noticed it, I asked her about it, but she wasn’t too worried. I cooked her dinner anyway and brought it to her room, making sure she ate a large amount and took in fluids. She seemed to improve, but after a few more days she looked even worse. She stopped coming to class and I visited her in her room, making sure she was alright, making sure she was eating and taking in fluids. She refused to go to the doctor. She said it was just the flu.

One day, when I came to visit her and bring her the notes she’d missed, I decided to look around. She was in the living room, watching TV on the couch. I snuck into her bedroom and when inside, I noticed a familiar smell. I tried to be discreet and sniffed the air, using my enhanced sense of smell. It was blood, only a few days old.

I followed the scent to River’s bed and lifted the covers to smell the sheets. I lifted the pillow and saw what I was looking for. There were a few small drops of blood on the sheets under her pillow, where her neck would be when she slept. There was another scent, less strong than the blood. It was Lilith’s smell, her new smell with the old smell underneath. That fresh earth, animal, and wilderness smell of wolf laced with the scent of death.

Furious, I left, giving a curt goodbye to River, who looked half-asleep anyway. It was almost dark and I had a vampire to deal with.

I was sitting in our living room with the TV off when I felt the rush of energy that accompanied Lilith’s waking. A few moments later, I heard her door open and she walked into the living room.

“Long time no see,” She said.

“Leave River out of this,” I growled, getting off the couch and getting in her face. The energy was making me bold.

She laughed, “I have to eat somehow. If not her, then who do you suggest?”

“How about no one? Why don’t you just shrivel up and die and go away? Why don’t you just leave me and my friends alone? Why do you have to force yourself into my life?”

“If I die then you’ll die, remember? And if I quit eating, it will be much worse for you than it will for me, trust me on that.”

I shoved her backwards into the wall before going into my room, “Leave me alone. Leave my friends alone. I don’t care if I die, it’s better letting you have the satisfaction of hurting them.”

* * * * *

Monday, October 12th
Waxing Crescent Moon (Twelve Days to Full Moon)

Three days later, I was already regretting my talk with Lilith. Apparently, she had honored my request. She wasn’t eating, and I could feel her hunger. Not only could I feel it, but it also influenced my own hunger. I was ravenously hungry, but it wasn’t for normal food. I was hungry for raw flesh and warm blood. The first time I felt that hunger, it disturbed me. The hunger grew over a few days, my dreams full of blood and violence, images of me tearing into people and feasting on them. I woke up in the middle of the night and threw up, the images so realistic that I could still feel the skin, muscle and sinew in my mouth, between my teeth, down my throat.

Whenever I saw Lilith, she looked paler than usual, but only gave me a smug, knowing smile. She was used to the hunger. She would surely last longer than me. At least, her mind would. The dreams, the nightmares were becoming more realistic. The hunger, more powerful. The smell of human flesh set my salivary glands off and I would have to will myself not to attack people I walked by. Elevators were the worst. Closed off spaces with only myself and another person. I could kill them in seconds and they wouldn’t even realize what was coming. Just the thought made me nauseous.

No matter how much food I ate, I couldn’t keep the hunger at bay. I ate protein after protein, which was closest to what I actually craved, but it didn’t sate the desire for raw flesh.

There was only one option to end the madness, to end the torture. I hated that it was my only choice. I hated Lilith for putting me in that position, but it was the only way to save innocent lives.

I had to be her donor.

Next Chapter
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A/N: I had this chapter written, but I couldn't decide if it was ready for posting. Most of this chapter wasn't in my original draft, but I wanted Selene to have more of a reason to confront Lilith about this and get the ball rolling on being her permanent blood donor. It originally just started with Lilith starving Selene then her giving in to donate the blood. I thought slowly draining Selene's new friend might make Lilith seem even more cruel, because she really is one of those people that only thinks about herself.

If you're bored, I've been posting pictures and random stories over at Insight into my Life, a blog about me and my life. I have a load of material to post, so I'll probably be making regular posts over the next few weeks. I just posted one today about our Bacon Explosion experiment. It's turning into a photoblog more than anything else.

Also, Brandon's sister and my future sister-in-law, Jessica, has begun posting a story of her own, so if you want to check it out, head over to Dark Ages of Landanasia to check it out. Be sure to leave a comment and let her know what you think!