20. Lilith's Plan

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Even though I had told Randall I was tired, I was actually energized from the nap I’d taken all afternoon. I’d given in to Tala, but I felt closer to her already, and I was eager to make contact with her again. However, I wanted to do it alone this time, at my own pace. Before he left, Randall had told me to give it a rest before trying again. He told me we could try again in a few days. I wanted to impress him, though. I imagined the look on his face when he saw my perfect control. After that, we would be able to move on to some more advanced lessons.

I sat on my bed with my legs crossed, back in the meditative position. My door was locked, and I had some music playing. This helped me feel more isolated from the world outside of my room. I didn’t want to think about my roommates, especially Lilith, and I didn’t want to think about the dorm full of people that I could be potentially endangering if this went badly.

I closed my eyes, feeling slightly stupid, and I tried to concentrate, remembering the feelings from earlier, and the warmth of the power. I recalled Tala’s voice in my mind and I tried to talk to her, this time not with my physical voice, but with a voice inside my head, like I did right before I blacked out.

Tala, My inner voice whispered repeatedly, trying to call her to me, trying to talk with her.

When she finally came around, I could feel the same warmth, though this time it wasn’t as intense. What is it this time? She knew Randall wasn’t here anymore, and his absence was making her grumpy. She was also tired.

“Look,” I felt uncomfortable speaking to her inside my head, so I switched back to speaking aloud. “I know you want Randall, and that is an easy compromise to make, because I want him too, and seeing as we are essentially one and the same, we’ll pretty much share him. However, if I don’t show Randall’s father some sort of control by the next full moon, then he is going to be even less happy with me, and if things don’t improve soon, he’s going to kick me out of the Pack, and then all hopes of us and Randall growing old together are out of the window.”

Tala chucked inside my head, an unnerving feeling, So the old wolf feels threatened. She found much delight in this.

“Wait, what happened last night during my initiation…was that you doing something on purpose?”

Come on, it was the first time I’ve ever been around so many wolves. I didn’t think it was such a big deal to the old wolf, but now I see. He thought you were undermining his power.

“Something like that,” She was incredibly perceptive; it was something I hadn’t even really picked up on.

I was afraid the conversation was going in a different direction than I had intended, but before I had a chance to get back to the point, I heard a faint voice from behind the door, bringing me back into the real world.

“Do you realize how distracting that is?” Lilith complained through the closed door.

I opened my eyes and wondered whether or not I should answer. “I’m sorry,” I finally said. “I’ll turn down the music,” I got off my bed and turned the volume down.

“That’s not what I meant,” She said and I froze. “Let me in, I can help you.”

After avoiding her for a few days, I realized that if she wanted to, she could bother me, even if I didn’t want to see her. As long as I lived in that dorm with her, I could only escape her if I stayed over at someone else’s place. I also realized as I stood there in that painfully awkward silence, that I really didn’t want to avoid her. I needed a friend that knew my secret, someone else besides Randall the lovesick puppy. Lilith was quite possibly the one who could satisfy that need.

As I went to the door, Tala growled from deep inside. She didn’t approve of my decision, but I was too intrigued by Lilith’s offer of help.

I opened the door and Lilith was standing there, looking particularly happy that I had finally opened up. “I thought I might have to break down the door,” She smiled, her teeth perfect and straight, I could only see a hint of her vampire fangs, and only if I wanted to stare at her canines. I could feel a cold energy coming from her, a polar opposite to Tala’s burning energy. With my senses already heightened by Tala being awake inside me, I could smell the same odor that I smelled in the hallway with Randall. That death and mold smell. It made Tala even more anxious.

She walked into my room, gliding past me without even seeming like she was moving her feet, faster than a normal human. It seemed that she wasn’t pretending to be human anymore. She sat down at me desk chair while I just stared at her. “I know why you started to avoid me. He turned you against me.” It wasn’t a question, just a statement. A fact. I remained silent, mostly because I had no response for her.

“I suppose it was to be expected, though. They’re the only pack in the area, and with your power, he couldn’t help but to be drawn to you, a moth to a bright light. I just wish I would have gotten to you sooner. I thought I had at least until the full moon, but you started avoiding me even before then. I suppose I underestimated them.” Her blue eyes stared me down, full of a darkness I hadn’t seen in them before. Lilith was like a different person now.

“So you knew all along,” I said. “Even before move-in?”

She laughed, high and bright, like I’d come up with a really funny joke. “Of course! You don’t live three centuries without gaining a few skills and quite a bit of knowledge. You think I’m in college because I want to learn something? I’m here because of you.” She spun around in the chair for a few seconds to let her words sink in, then stopped abruptly and looked up at me seriously. “I know how to help you control your inner wolf without throwing our energy all over the place, without compromising, and quickly.”

“Why are you here to help me? It’s not like I have anything to give you in return.”

“Ah, but you do. You have the greatest reward of all,” She stood up and was beside me before I even realized it, touching the side of my neck. I cringed back instinctively, and Tala growled again, this time through my mouth.

Lilith chuckled, “You are afraid of me because of the lies your little boyfriend has been spreading about me, aren’t you?”

“Actually, he didn’t say much at all, just to stay away from you. But he also said that vampires have no use for werewolf blood. He said they can’t drink it.”

“Well then, the young wolf does not know vampires well enough. True, most vampires cannot drink werewolf blood. It kills them, or it makes them incredibly sick. But, some of us can. Some of us hold a connection to the wolves. Vampires like me can take werewolf blood and gain power from it. So you see,” She stroked my neck with her cool, thin fingers once more, “Your blood is the best gift you could give me.”

“And what keeps you from killing me?” I spat, batting away her hand. How could I trust her? She was the enemy, right?

Lilith moved back to the chair, “I have to keep you alive to continue to drink your blood. I don’t want it just once, I want it over time. Your power, I need it. You are the sole reason I came here. I’ve been watching you for a while now, Selene. You have something that they cannot help you control. You need me as I need you. I can help you to tame it, as I have helped another. The one who bit you.”

“Why do you need me? You can drink from any wolf.” I was full of questions, but that was the one gnawing at me the most. Her words just weren’t sinking in.

“I could, but I do not want to. Once you control your power, if I were to drink even just a tiny amount of your blood, I would also gain power. The more control your have, the greater power you have and the greater power I can get from your blood. You have the potential to become the most powerful wolf in existence, which is why your blood is so good for me.”

“You did this with the one who bit me too?”

“Yes, I did. At first, he didn’t want to. He was exiled from his pack because he was unable to control his inner wolf, so he sought me. All I asked of him was a little blood before every full moon.”

“Why don’t you still do it with him then?” Did she kill him?

“He got old,” She said plainly, “I may never age, but you will, and he did. By the time he got too old for me to drink from him, he had come to fall in love with me. I was his only friend, the only one who accepted him. He would do anything for me,” Her lips turned upwards into a knowing smile.

And then, something clicked in my mind, some awful realization. I sat on my bed wordlessly as I began to understand where her story was going, horrible as the thought in my mind was, “So you began to look for someone new to get your power from…” I said, my voice without emotion.

“But none like him existed,” She said quietly.

“But you suspected, or maybe even knew that if he bit someone, they would be like him.” I didn’t want to hear the ending. I already knew it, but we went on.

“But not just any someone. The victim had to be special too.” She kneeled in front of me as I perched on my bed; she took my head in her hands and stared into my eyes.

I stared back; she had to see the anger boiling inside. “And you found me.”

“Yes, You were – are perfect. You have the potential to be even more powerful than him.”

“So, you ruined my life for your own benefit.” I pushed her away, Tala helping me fuel my rage. I felt an urge to break something. I really wanted to smash Lilith’s bones, or maybe the furniture.

She looked hurt as she stood, “Do you really think this ruined your life? You’re in college, you have a boyfriend. What’s different from how your life would have been?”

“I’m a freak,” I growled, “All because of you, and I can never be normal again.”

“Who wants to be normal?” She laughed, “We are the same, Selene. When I first became a vampire, I hated it. I hated knowing that the only I could exist would be by leeching off of others. But I came to love my life. I loved knowing that I was a part of a world that only a privileged few knew about. I walked the streets at night with the smug satisfaction of knowing that I was different than those normal humans. I was better. I was chosen.”

I wanted to choke her. I wanted to rip off her arms and legs. I wanted to break her jaw and mar her pretty face. I had so many violent feelings and Tala was more than happy to go along with my rage. “Just. Get. Out.” I choked out through gritted teeth.

She went to the door, knowing she was pushing her luck for the night. “Just let me know when you change your mind. I just hope it’s not too late for you when you do.”

“Leave,” I growled.

She pranced out and I slammed the door behind her, making the door shake. Seething, I paced my room. It felt even smaller than normal as my anger filled the tiny cube from floor to ceiling.

I had to get out. The room felt too small to contain my energy. It was too closed-in. I put on a pair of tennis shoes and left the room. Lilith was back in the living room, but I ignored her. I went down the stairs and once I was out of the building, I began to run. I ran through the campus grounds, my way only lit by the occasional streetlamp. I ran until I couldn’t breathe anymore. I didn’t know how much time had passed. I was exhausted, but I felt better. The anger had started to dissipate, but it was still there. I just didn’t have the energy for it anymore. I slowly walked back to the dorm. I heard the bells on the clock tower chime twice as they echoed across the silent campus. I was ready for sleep.

Much to my pleasure, Lilith was gone when I made it up to my room. I went to my bed and passed out, still fully dressed and sweaty from my run.

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Hey guys, sorry this post is a little later in the day than normal. I hope to always have them posted by 8 am my time, but as you can see, this one is pretty long. I have a lot more written, but I need to get it typed up, and I only title the chapters after I type them, so that's why there aren't any more tentative chapter titles up right now. Once I get ahead again, I'll start posting those ahead of time. ^.^ I think this is one of the more intense chapters, and we learn a bit more about Lilith.