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About Bitten

Bitten is a bit of my own college experiences mixed in with a story about an unfortunate girl named Selene that happens to be a young werewolf.

New chapters are every Monday, sometimes I'll post a short chapter on Thursdays as a bonus.

After a few weeks, I will submit Bitten to review sites, and I will start to offer commenting incentives as well.

Please comment and let me know what you think of the story!

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Table of Contents (Dated Links are Tentative Titles for Upcoming Chapters)

  • 1. Goodbyes
  • 2. Staking a Claim
  • 3. Lilith
  • 4. Noted
  • 5. Monster
  • 6. Quinn
  • 7. Too Nice
  • 8. Wake Up Call
  • 9. Tour
  • 10. Allergies
  • 11. Accidents Happen
  • 12. Sharing
  • 13. Use Your Nose
  • 14. Scared
  • 15. Rules are Rules
  • 16. Proposition
  • 17. The Change
  • 18. Explanations
  • 19. Compromise
  • 20. Lilith's Plan
  • 21. Training
  • 22. Acceptance
  • 23. The Lilith Method
  • 24. Solved
  • 25. A History Lesson
  • 26. Stargazing
  • 27. A New Look
  • 28. Payment
  • 29. Demonstration
  • 30. Contentment
  • 31. Bound
  • 32. Avoidance
  • 33. Hunger
  • 34. Donor
  • 35. New Girl
  • 36. Whispers
  • 37. Lucille
  • 38. Lies
  • 39. Used
  • 40. Eavesdropping
  • 41. Caught
  • 42. Invitation
  • 43. Party
  • 44. Greg
  • 45. Surprise
  • 46. Doyle
  • 47. Thanksgiving
  • 48. Semester's End
  • 49. Challenge
  • 50. To the Death
  • 51. Revenge
  • 52. Awake
  • Six Years Later

Status Updates and what's going on in my Life!

  • Insight into my Life
    New Blog for Personal Whatnots (Follow me through NaNo 2009!)
    Dear anyone that may be reading this: I am sorry that I kind of quit blogging for a while. Mostly, I was busy goofing off and I really didn't have a struct...
    1 month ago

If you like Bitten, check out my other story, Becoming.

  • Becoming
    New Blog for Personal Whatnots (Follow me through NaNo 2009!)
    Wow, I can't believe it's almost been a year since I last updated Becoming. I'm sure you're all pretty mad at me. I feel like Becoming kind of changed from...
    1 month ago

Short Stories

  • The Hitchhiker

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3. Lilith

Previous Chapter

Friday, August 21st
Waxing Gibbous Moon (Five Nights to Full Moon)

A noise at the door woke me; I’d fallen asleep during the movie. I checked my watch groggily and noted that it was two in the morning. The movie was long since over.

The sound continued. Someone was trying to get in, but having a hard time at it. At first, I was scared. My heart rate sped up and my breathing quickened. Was someone already trying to break in this early in the semester? The crime rate in this town was a little high, but that was mostly off-campus, over in the poorer neighborhoods of this nothing town.

I pulled myself into a crouch on the floor, ready to pounce on whoever was trying to break in if they succeeded. The door swung open and a girl stood there, looking helpless. Her hair was blonde and cut short with even shorter layers, framing her pretty and thin face. She had light, almost white skin, as if she spent most of her time indoors. Her eyes were a bright blue, shining slightly in the light of the hallway. Other than that, she had no distinguishing features, but she was beautiful in a scary way. She had no marks or blemishes on her face, not even a freckle. All of her features were flawless. I couldn’t stop looking at her. She was wearing a black dress made of a flowing, gauzy material, which clung to her lean, perfect figure until it ended at her feet, which were bare. The dress looked vintage and expensive.

I felt like I was dreaming, or maybe she was a ghost. Was her skin white or was it actually translucent? Could a newer building like this even have ghosts? Did I even believe in ghosts? I believed in other things, maybe ghosts weren't that far off the mark.

She looked at me staring at her with those cerulean eyes and smiled, “You must be Selene. I am Lilith.” Her voice was soft, warm, and inviting. She felt friendly and instantly likable.

“Nice to meet you, Lilith,” I said politely. I was suddenly self-conscious. My hair was messy, my clothes wrinkled, and my voice was deep and groggy from sleep.

“Oh, did I wake you? I am so sorry.” Her face instantly changed from friendly to concerned.

“No, it’s okay. Are you moving in right now? If you are, I can help you move your stuff in if you need the help.” She had nothing with her. Had her parents come with her or was she alone?

“I do not really have much, but I suppose a second set of hands could not hurt,” She said, her speech incredibly formal. She didn’t have an accent, but she sounded really old-fashioned when she spoke, reminding me of some rich old lady that sat around all day while her butler brought her tea gave her sponge baths. I shuddered inwardly at the thought of bubble-covered wrinkly skin as she led me downstairs to where her car was parked in a fire lane, hazards flashing pinpoints through the darkness of the hot, sticky Texas night. We began to quickly unload her things so she wouldn’t get a ticket, though I didn’t think a police officer would really care at this hour if anyone was parked in the fire lane for a few minutes.

All of Lilith’s belongings were contained in matching, white tightly-sealed plastic bins. We carried them upstairs and put them in her room and after a few trips, we were done. She was right; she didn’t have much at all. Most of the bins were light, and there weren’t very many of them. The trunk of her spotless, low-end silver Mercedes held three of the bins, while the backseat had two and the passenger seat, just one. Other than the bins, there was nothing else in the car. It looked like an older model, certainly not as sleek as the current ones, but I didn't know much about cars. Even if it was several years old, it was in perfect condition.

Even though she didn't have much, I'd worked up a bit of the sweat since it was so warm out. I contemplated taking a shower, but I was tired and ended up just washing my face and changing into some cute blue pajamas with ice cream cones all over them. My mom probably thought they'd make me feel cooler on the warm nights.

“I guess I’ll let you start unpacking. I think I’m going to head off to bed.” I told her when she got back from moving her car out of the fire lane. She wasn't sweaty at all. As we were unloading, I had told her about how the other two were enjoying the night off partying or who knows what. She seemed interested in meeting them, but at the same time, I suspected that she didn’t really care about them. We had a whole year to visit with Stephanie and Kelsie and decide whether we liked them or not.

“Thank you for helping. My parents were really busy tonight so they could not make the drive with me.” She opened one bin, pulling out thick, black, opaque curtains, trying to smooth out the wrinkles they’d obtained from being packed in the white bins. “Oh,” she stopped me as I was walking back towards my room. “Which bathroom am I using?”

I led her to the bathroom Kelsie had decorated and flipped on the light. “Oh, wow,” Was all she could say in response to the pink eyesore. I flipped off the light and she got to appreciate the greenish glow.

“Mine’s not much better,” I told her, showing her the other bathroom, littered with appliances. After Stephanie had gotten ready for the evening’s festivities, she hadn’t even bothered to neaten the bathroom. It was a mess, I couldn't even make it to the toilet without tripping over wires and bottles of mousse, hairspray, and whatever else she had in there.

“Well, it is better, but I agree, not by much,” She sighed.

“Enjoy,” I said, smiling and patting her on the shoulder, walking to my room. I made a bet to myself that when Kelsie got back, Lilith would have some changes to propose.

-----

A/N: I accidentally posted this chapter early, so if you got it before it was supposed to be posted, you're lucky. It was actually a draft of the chapter, so it had a few mistakes and some other problems.

Lilith originally had long, black hair, but I rethought it and decided it was too stereotypical. I'm trying to break away from that, so I made her a blonde and modeled her look a little bit after the roommate that she is very loosely based on. I wish I could dress like Lilith and get away with it...

Next Chapter

Posted by Arielle Fragassi    

9 comments:

Bharat said...

=D Yeah, something kept nagging at me when I read Lilith's description... Although I do think black is more... subdued or mystic.. I can't really find the word (vampirey is not one, but hot is)

I'm still a little put off by the sentences and the way you deliver them :(

September 1, 2008 11:51 AM  
Rio said...

Finally! Well, as I read Lilith's description, for some reason I remembered Khan (Kristen or Kristin, cant remember the name exactly). You should of described the car a bit more in my opinion, I was wondering if it was old and rusty or new and neat, was it a new model, an old one, was it washed or not, was it neat inside or not. Aparently Lilith is .. wealthy? But it's..weird.. if she was wealthy you'd expect a butt load of things.. but she doesnt seem vcery normal, and im 100% she's a vampire or a werewolf :P, can't wait for thursday =)

September 1, 2008 12:28 PM  
Arielle said...

Bharat: I'll work on the sentences, so they seem less proper unless Lilith is speaking them. ^.^ Probably Wednesday I'll look at all three chapters again and make sure they're all uniform in delivery. When I originally wrote it, I made Lilith very stereotypical and kind of boring and I'm also trying to get away from that as well. When you think of what Lilith is, you automatically expect pale skin and black hair, pseudo-goth stuff and I want Lilith to be more friendly, less stereotypical.

Rio: Yeah, she's based on Khan. I mostly didn't describe the car more because Selene is a girl and many girls don't notice stuff like that right away. I will go back and mention if it's old or new, clean, or dirty, etc. Thanks for the suggestion.

September 1, 2008 9:44 PM  
UnendingPain said...

I would think that Lilith is a vampire, but that's just me being stereotypical about vampires. And I find that a lot of people like making vampires with black hair. I can sorta see that, but I have black hair myself, and I don't think it makes me any more creepy or mystical.

Anyways, can't wait for more! ^_^

September 2, 2008 8:20 AM  
Rio said...

HA! I KNEW IT WAS KHAN! I love khan she's so awsome. Lol. And ... you dont have to be a guy to know if a car is brand new model or a 60s model :P just my opinion! You describing how new/old the car is can help me understand how wealthy she is :P. Cant wait for the next chapter :)

September 2, 2008 2:10 PM  
Kestrel said...

I"m glad you decided to go with making her blonde... It seems like in most vampire fantasy everyone's goth, like they go around deliberately turning everyone who fits that profile. Why can't there be as much variety in vampires as there are in humans?

I look forward to reading more!

September 2, 2008 2:34 PM  
Arielle said...

UP: It's not really about whether black hair is pretty, I really think it is, it's just about sort of breaking through the stereotypes. For some reason, black hair + pale skin = vampire, just like 2 + 2 = 4. I just kind of want to get away from it, especially since I felt that I made Becoming too stereotypical. ^.^

Rio: I'll fix that tomorrow ^.^

Kestrel: indeed, I want this to be less goth, more light-hearted, at least in the beginning. Chesed's blond too...but he's evil o.O

September 2, 2008 10:49 PM  
Myndtrip said...

Solid character introduction. I haven't read any early drafts, but I back your decision to try and step out of the stereo-typical vamp. I like the way you've portrayed Lilith so far. She seems stiff, yet quirky, which is a great dynamic.

September 8, 2008 3:23 PM  
Arielle said...

MT: She's stiff mostly because she isn't normal. I don't want to give too much away, but she's kind of "old-fashioned." ;)

September 8, 2008 7:49 PM  

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